Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's never too late to be topless.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
this hospital has no fireball
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
