Ambien. No doubt about it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
