Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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