I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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