She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
