She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
