summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
