I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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