I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
