She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Drunk is not a location!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
