Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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