return my video game
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
