it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
as a side note pls kill me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
