Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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