yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
