She announced her abortion via fbk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
