You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
