You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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