She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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