Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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