Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
