he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize