One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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