i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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