The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
