drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
