Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
