Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
