Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
