if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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