I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
