I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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