youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nicole vs. Life
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
