I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
