i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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