After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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