____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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