if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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