The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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