My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
