i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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