$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
this hospital has no fireball
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
