He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
