apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
