If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just sent this text using only my big toe
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
