I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
