i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
