I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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