I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
