Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
