All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What did we do last night that was yellow?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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