I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
