If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
