I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
