Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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