i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize