Umm I'm too high to move.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
