he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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