Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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