Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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