DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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